Life moves us forward and we naturally focus on staying connected with others if at all possible. Many forces can knock us off balance. Life presents new constraints and obstacles and we have to adapt, make new attempts, and make new mistakes, in order to grow. We are often injured, sometimes greatly, but we often hide the shame because we need, and want, to present ourselves as okay. Being okay indicates worthiness for inclusion.
And yet, how often do we subtlety feel unsafe in a way only we know? Inside, somewhere, we can feel that something is not alright. We can’t help but to try to adjust for this not being okay. This adjusting requires a lot of energy, and many times what we do doesn’t resolve the feelings. What then?
Time and life move forward whether we’re ready or not. We’re pulled ever forward by life and commonly collect numerous unresolved burdens. We are, sometimes imperceptibly, making do, working to be okay, generally. When asked “How are you doing?” The default is often “Fine, great, good, etc.” All the while, whatever actually sinks in and strikes those burdens will be felt and will signal an internal alert. Being on alert is straining and a tired system is more easily overwhelmed.
Over time, the energy expended on these protective efforts can, and often will, drain us. Maybe we don’t notice it at first, but eventually we are aware of a drag that seems to impact our ability to easily get along, to be okay, to be fine enough like “everyone else”. We may guard ourselves with depression, with anger, with doing. We may protect ourselves by withdrawing, lessening risk and exposure — to the point of disappearing. We may numb or blunt strong feelings that get activated too much, too often, and these paths become well worn and shift our lives.
I work with adults experiencing difficulties with a variety of protective behaviors (protectors), such as anger, anxiety, depression, numbing (with substances, etc.), distracting (with work, with promiscuity, with exercise, etc.), and more. I work to help get clarity on, and build safe connections in relationships within families, relationships at work, and elsewhere. I work to help bring safe connection to grief, loss and loneliness. All of this work is focused on you and your needs for health within. This more whole you is the guide of your relationships internally and externally.
I practice the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy which is based on an understanding of our protective behaviors as being beneficial, with a goal to keep us safe. Our work is to bring calm, curiosity and compassion to were we find protection, meet that and build trust so we can discover a path to help which leads to healing.
Sessions last a minimum of 50 minutes. This is intentional and focused work. As such, session times are closely followed to honor the space and time – particularly when a client is scheduled directly after your session. It is important to start on time and allow yourself a few moments after the session to connect again to the rest of your day.
The first session lasts up to an 1 hour and 15 minutes. During this session, we’ll discuss what’s bringing you in, what you need, the dynamics of the therapeutic relationship, how I approach the work, policies and client confidentiality. I’ll begin learning your history, your needs and goals. If we feel comfortable working together we’ll continue.
Individual sessions – $100. If finances are an issue preventing our working together, please contact me to discuss your situation. I seek to help those in challenging situations. I do not accept insurance, however you can use your Health Savings Account (HSA).
Primary Credential from the Ohio Counselor, Social Worker & Marriage and Family Therapist Board (OCSWMFTB) —
Licensed Independent Social Worker – I.1700649